"If you want to gain 10 years of life experience in a year; just move to Los Angeles."
That's my inspiring slogan. I've told my roommates that one day, I'm going to write a book with all of my LA compilations, things that have gone haywire, neurotic people I've encountered, all the wonderful, juicy goods. But for now, I am still a baby Los Angeleno, and the stories are still in the compiling stage. February 7th marked my 6th monthiversary of living on California soil, and so I wanted to share some of the crucial things I've learned + provide any tidbits of advice/honesty, in case there are any other fellow 22 year old rascals eager to launch from off the grid, to a big city. Let's get this party hoppin'.
"Date" LA
(This goes out to any of my fellow gal pals who are getting ready to/have moved to a big city)
With Los Angeles, I learned that you have to take things s-l-o-w-l-y. Get to know it - drive the freeways and practice navigating traffic without swearing (Wait wha? Of course I would never!), peruse around its neighborhoods and hidden gems and eateries, find your safe haven (for me, that would be a coffee shop to camp out in), ease your way into becoming comfortable enough to drive to and from work without using Siri (bless you, Siri!), make sure your job is paying the fixed expenses and self care (as in, having the money to stock up on nourishing, life giving foods and meals to prepare...not just granola bars and prepackaged hummus. #Me? #Nope #Never), don't expect to suddenly have your life figured out in 1 month's time, and THEN start making the bigger, bolder moves. Dare to "ask off work" (this means you're no longer in the, "I NEED EVERY WAKING HOUR OF THE WORK DAY TO PAY THE BILLS AND BUY TOILET PAPER," mentality) and go to the audition. Reach out and begin collaborating with some likeminded individuals. Branch out a liiiittle more and start putting some feelers out there. Let Los Angeles KNOW that your intentions are to begin pursuing your dreams...but equally don't beat yourself up when you realized the past 6 months have been mostly working, commuting, burnout, bits and pieces of your dreams here and there, but mostly still settling in.
It's okay. And honestly - more than anything - I am preaching to myself with this. As my new Italian friend, Francisco (who also has run a 2:48 marathon btw) (Cue Elf: "Franciiiiscoooooo."), who encouraged me during a tempo run at the track said *insert thick, fabulous Italian accent*:
"Geeve yo'self TIME!"
Los Angeles is the biggest compilation of humanity and brick and mortar and rampage also called the 405 that I have ever humanly experienced. Before and during my and Sully's 40 hour roadtrip out here, I was in fantasy land of preplanning, daydreaming, and conjuring up ways to dive straight into my career as an artist. It would all be easy! And boy oh boy - did I have my hypothetical check list nailed DOWN. In a month, I'd have my jobs lined up, an apartment, and have already met some cool people who would be a part of my communal circle.
(This goes out to any of my fellow gal pals who are getting ready to/have moved to a big city)
With Los Angeles, I learned that you have to take things s-l-o-w-l-y. Get to know it - drive the freeways and practice navigating traffic without swearing (Wait wha? Of course I would never!), peruse around its neighborhoods and hidden gems and eateries, find your safe haven (for me, that would be a coffee shop to camp out in), ease your way into becoming comfortable enough to drive to and from work without using Siri (bless you, Siri!), make sure your job is paying the fixed expenses and self care (as in, having the money to stock up on nourishing, life giving foods and meals to prepare...not just granola bars and prepackaged hummus. #Me? #Nope #Never), don't expect to suddenly have your life figured out in 1 month's time, and THEN start making the bigger, bolder moves. Dare to "ask off work" (this means you're no longer in the, "I NEED EVERY WAKING HOUR OF THE WORK DAY TO PAY THE BILLS AND BUY TOILET PAPER," mentality) and go to the audition. Reach out and begin collaborating with some likeminded individuals. Branch out a liiiittle more and start putting some feelers out there. Let Los Angeles KNOW that your intentions are to begin pursuing your dreams...but equally don't beat yourself up when you realized the past 6 months have been mostly working, commuting, burnout, bits and pieces of your dreams here and there, but mostly still settling in.
It's okay. And honestly - more than anything - I am preaching to myself with this. As my new Italian friend, Francisco (who also has run a 2:48 marathon btw) (Cue Elf: "Franciiiiscoooooo."), who encouraged me during a tempo run at the track said *insert thick, fabulous Italian accent*:
"Geeve yo'self TIME!"
Los Angeles is the biggest compilation of humanity and brick and mortar and rampage also called the 405 that I have ever humanly experienced. Before and during my and Sully's 40 hour roadtrip out here, I was in fantasy land of preplanning, daydreaming, and conjuring up ways to dive straight into my career as an artist. It would all be easy! And boy oh boy - did I have my hypothetical check list nailed DOWN. In a month, I'd have my jobs lined up, an apartment, and have already met some cool people who would be a part of my communal circle.
Let's just say that 2 months, a semi crunched car with a missing mirror, and no friends later, I realized that getting settled into new territory was going to take time. And then I also realized that being the newbie at adulting, being a los angeleno, and finding my way was really, truly okay. Planning to propose to LA soon, though! ;)
Budgetting Will Save Your Tush
Last January, I signed up to take a Dave Ramsey course at my church. Yeah, I was in agreement with the videos, was interested in what he said, but I skimmed my way through the homework exercises and the action of everything. Why? Because I had no motivation. I was living at home with the luxury of car insurance and my phone bill being the only bills (ah; what a time!).
"I honestly will do all of this when I am under the pressure."
And I felt that pressure as soon as I moved to LA. I do not claim to be the best at budgetting my money. I am a newbie. I am learning. I am immature in so many areas. But. Scoping out my income and implementing it into writing (hint: EveryDollar is the BOMB and FREE and SUPER easy to use) saved my life. I used to be a "Mentally estimate things out, predict how much x & y might be," and keep way more to SPEND than I would to save or make sure I had for fixed expenses. I am instinctively (and painfully) what Dave Ramsey would label as the "free spirit" in regards to money, meaning: Yeah, I might save here and there; but at the end of the month all of those cold brew coffees and Trader Joe's ABC Bars add up, bills are due, and my expenses have accumulated far beyond what I originally "estimated".
In fact, I do not know how anyone can't NOT budget, but especially this crazy city. But in that same breath, I also found myself in a pinch back in November, and I think youngsters like myself experience the same thing (okay; maybe different scenarios...but same mentality). I was in a car accident, life happened, unexpected expenses happened, and I allowed my skyrocketing cortisol levels to dictate how I spent money. I forgot to set a budget, then became too overwhelmed with the sudden expenses to set my budget, and said, "Screw it," altogether. The end result?
I owed almost $800 for the apartment I was renting, and though I was able to pay it, I was digging out of my savings account for a little while. No bueno. So YES - it is, in fact, possible to set a budget no matter how much dough ya rollin' in. I'm a starving (but surviving!;)) artist, and though I am nowhere near perfect at it, I can still set a budget, pay my bills on time, and haven't gone broke.
Now, to learn more about investments! ;)
Get Out of LA
Hollywood always gave me the ideation that Los Angeles was this romantically sun hazed, scenic, Insta-Worthy on ever corner kind of place. And while it is true that there are many of those places that look like they morphed from magazine to reality, the truth is that a few miles after the eye candy, there is a skid row, pure garbage and disgustingness on the curb, neurotic people knocking on your car's window in the WalMart parking lot, traffic that fatigues you before the work day even starts, old men driving souped up Mercedes who flip you off for no apparent reason, noise like...everywhere. All the time. And PEOPLE...everywhere...all the time. There literally was a human traffic jam of citizens forming a line to get eggs at Trader Joe's one evening. Some people absolutely thrive off of the bustle of the city, but as for me?
I don't.
I hate it, actually. Sometimes the hype of things is really fun, but I have learned that my introverted self needs a frequent hiatus from humanity in general. Sully and I super love Ventura, this teeny tiny, seemingly secluded little beachy town. And Orange County, no matter what the LA snobs say about how "It's like, so boring," I flipping love Costa Mesa, Oceanside, and even the small, "soccer mommy towns", as I like to call them. On Sunday, he took me to the tippity top of a little mountain, perched over Santa Clarita. We traipsed through mud, a few hills, and just like that, we were in the quiet, sunny haze, overlooking the city and the mountains - no rush, no bustle, no nuttin'. Just us, our coats, and a palette of creation to settle into. Even just retreating to a coffee shop, a park with my eno, or anywhere a little more low key and quiet does the trick. Don't get me wrong - Los Angeles has some amazing spots and so much opportunity and stuff to do - but I also have learned there is something so beautiful and wonderful and even healing about getting OUT of the city. To me, solitude and quietness are refueling and rejuvenating.
Traffic Will Always Be Gnarly
Last January, I signed up to take a Dave Ramsey course at my church. Yeah, I was in agreement with the videos, was interested in what he said, but I skimmed my way through the homework exercises and the action of everything. Why? Because I had no motivation. I was living at home with the luxury of car insurance and my phone bill being the only bills (ah; what a time!).
"I honestly will do all of this when I am under the pressure."
And I felt that pressure as soon as I moved to LA. I do not claim to be the best at budgetting my money. I am a newbie. I am learning. I am immature in so many areas. But. Scoping out my income and implementing it into writing (hint: EveryDollar is the BOMB and FREE and SUPER easy to use) saved my life. I used to be a "Mentally estimate things out, predict how much x & y might be," and keep way more to SPEND than I would to save or make sure I had for fixed expenses. I am instinctively (and painfully) what Dave Ramsey would label as the "free spirit" in regards to money, meaning: Yeah, I might save here and there; but at the end of the month all of those cold brew coffees and Trader Joe's ABC Bars add up, bills are due, and my expenses have accumulated far beyond what I originally "estimated".
In fact, I do not know how anyone can't NOT budget, but especially this crazy city. But in that same breath, I also found myself in a pinch back in November, and I think youngsters like myself experience the same thing (okay; maybe different scenarios...but same mentality). I was in a car accident, life happened, unexpected expenses happened, and I allowed my skyrocketing cortisol levels to dictate how I spent money. I forgot to set a budget, then became too overwhelmed with the sudden expenses to set my budget, and said, "Screw it," altogether. The end result?
I owed almost $800 for the apartment I was renting, and though I was able to pay it, I was digging out of my savings account for a little while. No bueno. So YES - it is, in fact, possible to set a budget no matter how much dough ya rollin' in. I'm a starving (but surviving!;)) artist, and though I am nowhere near perfect at it, I can still set a budget, pay my bills on time, and haven't gone broke.
Now, to learn more about investments! ;)
Get Out of LA
Hollywood always gave me the ideation that Los Angeles was this romantically sun hazed, scenic, Insta-Worthy on ever corner kind of place. And while it is true that there are many of those places that look like they morphed from magazine to reality, the truth is that a few miles after the eye candy, there is a skid row, pure garbage and disgustingness on the curb, neurotic people knocking on your car's window in the WalMart parking lot, traffic that fatigues you before the work day even starts, old men driving souped up Mercedes who flip you off for no apparent reason, noise like...everywhere. All the time. And PEOPLE...everywhere...all the time. There literally was a human traffic jam of citizens forming a line to get eggs at Trader Joe's one evening. Some people absolutely thrive off of the bustle of the city, but as for me?
I don't.
I hate it, actually. Sometimes the hype of things is really fun, but I have learned that my introverted self needs a frequent hiatus from humanity in general. Sully and I super love Ventura, this teeny tiny, seemingly secluded little beachy town. And Orange County, no matter what the LA snobs say about how "It's like, so boring," I flipping love Costa Mesa, Oceanside, and even the small, "soccer mommy towns", as I like to call them. On Sunday, he took me to the tippity top of a little mountain, perched over Santa Clarita. We traipsed through mud, a few hills, and just like that, we were in the quiet, sunny haze, overlooking the city and the mountains - no rush, no bustle, no nuttin'. Just us, our coats, and a palette of creation to settle into. Even just retreating to a coffee shop, a park with my eno, or anywhere a little more low key and quiet does the trick. Don't get me wrong - Los Angeles has some amazing spots and so much opportunity and stuff to do - but I also have learned there is something so beautiful and wonderful and even healing about getting OUT of the city. To me, solitude and quietness are refueling and rejuvenating.
Traffic Will Always Be Gnarly
As a gal who grew up in a small town and rush hour only equating to, "Oh, there might be more people on the road around 5," or "I might catch an extra stop light or 2," versus, "WHY am I only 12 miles from my apartment and this is bumper to bumper and taking over an hour and it's only 3:00??" can be quite...ah...disheartening. It's the same with human beings too. Remember the human traffic jam at Trader Joe's I mentioned above? Yeah, traffic jams don't just consist of busy freeway drivers!
One day might take a quick 20 minute hop down the freeway, and then the next, it might bump up to 45 minutes. Oh, and don't even get me started if there's a lane closure, accident, or Heaven forbid - when it rains. The only redeeming quality I can muster from rush hour (which, let's be honest, is probably 12 hours out of a 24 hour day) and its volume of bumper to bumper to bumper vehicles clogging every lane, is the art of surrendering to the mentality, "It is what it is." As much as I bargain and question just WHY THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS AND WHERE ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE COMING FROM AND WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY HOME OR NOT TAKE THE 405 AT THE SAME TIME I CHOSE TO?!! I have indeed learned that as much as I question Siri's skills to help me navigate/sometimes beg God to please change the solid red line to yellow...that sometimes, "It just is what it is," and I may as well practice patience. Oh, and challenge my spiritual development, because red lines on your map and drivers weaving in and out (thinking that by switching lanes when one starts moving, only for its volume to increase and then slow down just like the lane they were previously in...) will cause quite a phenomenon within. ;)
Yeah; That's Not a Campsite...
I swear LA changes every quarter mile. One minute you're serenaded by the luxe of society and its high class people in weird pantsuits, funky dimensioned sunglasses, and high heeled tennis shoes, palm trees, and the exciting, carefree, heart fluttering California vibe one typically envisions with the golden coast...and the 0.25 miles later? Well, it's a little like you've been sucked into some invisible vortex that decided to plop you in the remains of Chernobyl. Some spots are easier on the eyes; others are a little jarring. 2 friends and I drove through eclectic, central LA to get dinner, and passed by a lovely little park. I assumed all of the tents were - ya know - for fun, family camping!
Let's just say - I quickly began to differentiate tent cities from s'mores and a bonfire kinda camping.
To Trust...Or Not To Trust...
I have always been pretty intuitive and naturally skeptical of people...but never more so than when I moved to LA. Don't get me wrong, there are some flipping amazing people here. And oh my moly, people are also super communal! BUT. As negative and judgmental as it may seem, I really don't trust most people. At least not right off the bat. Never have I become more skeptical of every human being I encounter in my LIFE. Growing up in the South, people are pretty bad at faking their niceness or character in general, if they have bad intentions or are a creeper in disguise. Here? Dang; people are good at playing make believe. A woman tried using reverse psychology to try and scam me into her MLM business (my red flags were alerted when I agreed to meet for coffee, and she was late twice...and didn't buy me a coffee to at least TRY and impress me; darn it!). I legitimately almost slept in my car on a few different occasions when I first moved to LA; but mostly when a roommate went a little whacko and angrily knocked on/proceeded to jiggle my locked door handle WHILE I WAS IN BED. I've experienced people's very neurotic behavior and toxic relationships in a workforce (keeping this one on the low for now;)). I've encountered men at least 15+ years older than myself who I quickly began realizing did not have my best interest in mind. If I know I'm going somewhere - an event, coffee shop, my backyard (jk), etc. where I know I might be caught in an awkward situation, I'll wear the necklace or charm bracelet or something that Sully has gotten me, so that if my appearance is commented on, what I'm wearing, whatever, I have an easy, "Yes; my BOYFRIEND got this for me!" I literally have had male clients who asked where I live. As in, "Ohhh; so where in the valley? What is your apartment nearby?" *frantically deflects topic*
I was encouraged by a man at my church in NC, "Listen to your intuitive instinct. If you have that intuitive feeling that something isn't right or something is off...it probably is. Hone into that."
I also call them "Holy nudges". I used to think that I overthought and analyzed people and situations far too deeply, but out here, I have learned that there really isn't such a thing. I've seen fruit and colors of people that I suspected with that quick, intuitive, Holy nudge of, "Be. Careful." come to light on many occasions. I've noticed that it's a trend of people sloooooowly putting you in situations to gain their trust and loyalty. Unfortunately, these people largely target young, seemingly naive girls and women, poking and prodding and putting out the feelers and testing the waters, seeing just how much they can get away with, little by little. And then, things get a little weirder. And a little bolder. And a little more uncomfortable.
In which...
I trust people only when I see fruit of their integrity through action. This doesn't mean I won't befriend people or be kind, but rather, I am reminded that with certain of LA's mystical creatures, I need to keep really strong boundaries, space, and proceed with great caution.
Traveling vs. LIVING are Entirely Different #UnsexyReality
Ever gone on a super exotic, super fun excursion and all you can think is, "MAN; if ONLY I could live here!" When I first visited Los Angeles, I experienced that same high of the West Coast and its marvelous beauty and excitement. Don't get me wrong - there are times out here when I feel those sensations surging through my veins again. But the truth is this: Traveling and LIVING are very, very different. I used to mix the two up; kind of like being a customer and interacting with management vs. WORKING under that same management.
When I visited CA, my only expenses were airfare, a week's worth of groceries, and money to Uber or rent a car. All that was on my agenda was being a tourist and experiencing. I wasn't paying the bills that my hosts were. I wasn't paying monthly insurance for the Uber or rental car. I made a commute because I wanted to, not because I had shifts to cover on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I flew back home because it was the date on my plane ticket, not because I was desperate to escape my own circumstances and mental sanity. When you travel, you really don't have that much responsibility. Traveling is more like a vacation with some temporary expenses and the good side of it all; not the nitty gritty in betweens. I think a lot of people see my Instagram and my Facebook posts and think, "Wow. She's really living it up and living her dreams."
The truth is that so far, my priorities have quite literally been surviving here, with some fun mixed in between. In November, I was so broke and working so part time and had so many emergency expenses, that I was literally living off of nut bars and hummus and breaking out in full body hives from the stress of life. #UnsexyReality The truth is that about 90% of that sexy paycheck goes to fixed expenses, or emergency expenses like getting your car fixed. The other 10% and any gratuity go towards excursions and getaways (Which, sidenote: I can't WAAAAAAIT for 2 getaways coming soon. Gratuity savings come in handy here!) and fun outings and that occasional iced vanilla latte. That $5 here and $10 there that I used to be able to toss away without a second thought, quite literally is now a mindset of, "Ok....I could use this for the water bill and insurance...or a gluten free bagel. #Decisions."
(Dating someone who takes you away from the hustle bustle and into the quiet for Valentine's Day/gifts you roses, fig bars, and crafts handmade cards certainly helps one's LA experience. ;) LOVE YA BIG TIME, SULLY!)
"So, AG....Are you gonna live here forever?!"
Who knows! Honestly, probably not. It depends on where Sully's dreams/career take him after school. I have realized that with most dreams and ambitions, they really can be accomplished from just about anywhere. The only that's stopping you, is YOU, in the end. Sure, LA might have some rad connections and networking opportunities, and who knows what the heck could happen down the road! I have a few things up my sleeve that I'm working on, so for now, I'm honestly both enduring LA, but also curious as to what might happen. 6 months in, and I both love it at times, and hate it during others. I'm not going to even try and pretend like I chill with Gwen Stefani every Wednesday at my favorite coffee shop, and massage Ryan Gosling at my current workforce. I am a people person and thrive from community, value friendship and accountability and collaborations, but I openly admit: It has been a lonely 6 months. It often can feel like being submerged by millions of people, clients, strangers on my coffee shop escapes, but no one really knowing you and your soul. I have never felt closer to Sully, and I never have appreciated people and their friendship and way of reaching out in my LIFE (shoutout to Lauren and Celeste and Pastor Richard from Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, the wonderful Zuidemas, my NoCal bestie, Madison, and my roommate duo, Jaimie and Cameron), even if scattered through CA. Sundays are always my favorite - Sully and I have been a part of some amazing church services, and then we usually adventure somewhere the rest of the day. Quiet places and quality time have a whole new meaning to me, and even amidst the magnificent chaos of LA, these past 6 months have stretched me and grown me and truly forced me to go out on Faith as I've never experienced during my 22 years on this planet.
And, as I typically conclude my chicken scratch journal entries, for now? Things unfold.
I'm very proud of you AG. I'm praying for you both and sorely miss our conversations. You are missed back here in the sticks. Keep fighting for solitude and Sabbath! You are greatly loved!!
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