4/8/13

don't hold back.

We all have dreams, aspirations, hopes, wishes...whatever you choose to label it. I have mine and you have yours. Maybe you aspire to be a writer. Maybe you aspire to go into the fashion industry. Maybe you aspire to be an artist. Whatever it may be, you aspire to do or to be something.

I aspire to be an actress, which I've stated before. For so long now, I've waited and procrastinated to delve full fledged into acting. I had that burning passion to become an actress when I was 10 years old (Put shortly, The Lord of the Rings gave me a bit too much inspiration). I remember the night vividly -- I had just finished watching the LOTR trilogy and I remember thinking, "I want to be an actress and I want to be famous" (The whole "I want to be famous" thing has changed since then though, have no fear). I told my mom I wanted to do theatre and we quickly googled local auditions. The first we came across was called "The Man that Came to Dinner"....I still have no clue what the heck that show was supposed to be about. I read a bit about the auditions and the show, shut the laptop, went to bed and thought nothing more of it.

That year? I did nothing acting wise. Yes, I wanted to be an actress, but I didn't put forth any effort and I didn't take any risks. I assumed some camera crew would happen to magically drive through our neighborhood, see a cute, freckly-faced, snaggle-toothed, little 10 year old girl playing outside and give me some insanely-awesome role.

Um. No.

The next few years, I still deeply aspired to be an actress.

Dwell on it.

Do a show.

Dwell on it some more.

Audition for something that turns out to be a scam and get accepted.

Dwell on it some more.

Suck at your audition, put forth no effort, and do yet another show.

Dwell on it some more.

Read articles of actresses' success stories.

Dwell on it.

Google and watch youtube videos of acting tips and how to get an agent.

Dwell on it.

Do nothing about it.

Sit back and relax.

Dwell on it.

Dream of becoming an actress......

......But do nothing to push yourself.

Dwell on it.

Dream.

Aspire.

Read.

Dwell.


If you haven't already, do you see what I'm getting at here? We're all good at something.

We're good at playing it safe.

We want something so badly and we know we do -- it isn't just an aspiration, it's that burning desire and that restlessness mentally screaming, "GO FOR IT!" That's where the conflict comes in: Our minds are dictating us. We're second guessing ourselves. We think about what we want to do long and hard, feel that burning desire and then psych ourselves out of it. We have these awesome moments of adrenalin rush and burning aspiration and we feel like we can just conquer the world -- and then our fear overtakes us.

Let me tell you something: We have to conquer our own minds. I've written a lot about our minds lately (something that has particularly interested me this year...how our minds dictate us), but it is so true. We let that fear slowly creep in and demolish any hope we have. We let that fear in our minds hold us back from doing something that could be frickin-amazingly-radly-awesome and instead let it scare us, give us that icky knot in our stomachs, shake just thinking about. You know?

It happened to me. It still does. But you know what? I can no longer let the fear of my mind hold me back from doing what I love. I will push through my fear, I will not let it creep inside of my mind, I will fight for my passion.

Just the other day...Friday, to be exact, I had an interview for an acting/modeling agency. When I received the email stating that they were interested, I immediately got excited butterflies. A few days later though, I could feel that fear starting to creep inside of my mind. All of the "What ifs.......?" were on replay, one by one. I was determined, however, not to let fear overtake my mind. I read article after article on backstage.com on fighting fear. And you know what? It helped. Tremendously. I went into the office, trashed my introverted little personality for a little while and let confidence be the ruler...not fear. I got accepted into the agency too. After years of being incredibly good at playing it safe, not taking any risks and being intimidated by having to present myself in front of strangers -- I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am in no way trying to brag and be all like, "Oh hey guys, I'm so awesome because I'm not scared anymore." My goodness, I still do get nervous for stuff. And you know what? That's normal. BUT, my dear friends, we can't let fear just demolish our minds and hold us back from pursuing what we love.

My advice for you: Go. For. It. Whether you want to be an artist or fly to the moon -- go for what your passion is. Don't hold back. Go for it.

3 comments:

  1. I love your writing. this is so true, thanks for the encouragement.

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  3. You just spoke my mind. That was so what I needed to hear! I've done the exact same thing. Dreamed and aspired for so much...but that is all I have done. I need to GO FOR IT! Good luck with your acting! God has great plans for you!

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